Photo by ISIphotos.com
With the roar of a sell-out crowd resonating in the background, Jeff Parke sat in the press box of Qwest Field on Thursday night trying to make sense of what has become of his career. If fate had been a bit kinder to him, Parke might have actually been on the field with the Red Bulls for Thursday night's unforgettable debut of the Seattle Sounders. Instead, Parke was in street clothes, pondering his future.
Some five months after being suspended by MLS for testing positive for a performance-enhancing drug, Parke bared his soul. He didn't hide behind prepared statements or avoid the subject of his career-altering suspension. Parke instead tried his best to explain his situation, even as he still deals with the toll it is taking on his life and his career.
"It's tough because it's something that's going to follow me for the rest of my life," Parke said of his drug suspension. "It's something that I have a lot of anger about, but I just have to put it behind me and I have to hope that people see me for who I am and they look at me for the player I am instead of what happened to me."
Parke is in Seattle, where he is in contract talks with the Sounders, who hold his rights after selecting him in the expansion draft. A return to MLS looks likely after he tried and failed to land a contract in Europe, where the stigma of his suspension proved too difficult to overcome.
"I had teams lined up but when they found out about my suspension they would just say 'Sorry, we can't take a chance with a guy that just (got suspended for taking performance-enhancing drugs)."
"Their interpretation over there is like "What has he been shooting up?"
Parke never wavered in his insistence that the events that led to his 10-game suspension were caused by a tainted over-the-counter supplement, but he also accepted the blame for making a mistake.
"I do blame myself because if I look back on it now I should have just gotten everything I was taking tested," Parke said. "If there had been something wrong with it then I don't taken it.
"The thing was is that the product I took had nothing that says that its banned," Parke said. "Even if I gave it to someone how would they have known something was wrong?"
"The product was tainted. How was I supposed to know that," Parke said, with a tone that was more somber than angry. "If I knew that going into it there was no way I would have even considered (taking) it. I'd be like 'this isn't me. I don't need to be taking something that's questionable'."
"Everybody knew that I was taking supplements, it wasn't an unknown thing," Parke said. "It's not like I was sneaking into a stall and taking something. It was powder I was putting in my drink just like everybody does."
While the details of Parke's failed drug test emerged five months ago, it didn't stop Parke from being labeled as a typical steroid-abusing pro athlete in some circles. Parke knows the label he carries now, but insisted that he never intended to break any rules.
"By no means would I ever want to cheat or put myself ahead of the game," Parke said. "That being said, it is what it is, what's wrong is wrong and its behind me.
"It's tough for me because, at the end of the day, I want people to know what happened," Parke said. "I want people to see me for who I am, not for what the reports said.
"If they knew the whole story, and what happened, and they met me, they would know that's not who I am and that's not part of my character."
For now, Parke is left to try and rebuild his career, something that he has already learned won't be easy.
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(Look for Part Two of this story later today, with Parke discussing everything from his talks with the Sounders to his departure from New York.)
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