Good afternoon folks. Today is the big day. USA vs. Spain. In honor of the big friendly I decided to do a matchday you write the caption.
This won't be an official edition of YWTC, so there won't be a t-shirt given away by SBI sponsor Objectivo Apparel today, but I might change my mind on that if there is enough comedy in the submissions to merit it.
Here it is, a picture of Spain manager Luis Aragones delivering a message to Fernando Torres:
Fernando, I already told you no hat-trick against the USA. You have to save some goals for the tournament.
Now it's your turn. Let's here some funny captions and if there are enough good ones, then I will award the funniest caption a t-shirt of the writer's choice from Objectivo Apparel.
Fire away.
Ives Galarcep is an American soccer columnist for ESPNsoccernet.com and creator of SoccerByIves.net.
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Now, Now Fernando! Don't come crying to me about you losing your Tan in England. The chicks still dig you!!!
Posted by: usnavysrchief | June 04, 2008 at 12:05 PM
yes, you have a very pretty face but there just isn't room for cheerleaders in European futball yet
Posted by: jevanvoo | June 04, 2008 at 12:06 PM
"I know it was you Fernando. You Broke my heart. You broke my heart"
Posted by: Aengus | June 04, 2008 at 12:09 PM
"I love putting my old wrinkled dry hands all over your face."
Posted by: MC | June 04, 2008 at 12:10 PM
Luis: Aww. it's ok, Arnold said the Gooch takes everyone's lunch money.
Fernando: Whatcha talkin about Luis?
Posted by: buckeye9 | June 04, 2008 at 12:11 PM
awww!! you hurt your ankle during practice, don't worry I won't make you play against United States, we'll beat them anyway..
Posted by: elmatador78 | June 04, 2008 at 12:12 PM
Your glands feel fine... you cleared to dive.
Posted by: Adam | June 04, 2008 at 12:12 PM
chubby cheeks!
Posted by: Adam | June 04, 2008 at 12:13 PM
Cheer up , did you see Englad score 2? That means you can score 3.
Posted by: EDB | June 04, 2008 at 12:17 PM
But Fernando . . . you had me at hello . . .
+++++ OR ++++++
You are too much for me Fernando . . . I wish I knew how to quit you
Posted by: Dave Martinez | June 04, 2008 at 12:18 PM
Aengus- lol, ZOOOOOOOOOLANDER!!!! excellent refrence.... give him a shirt Ives, GIVE IT TO HIM!!
Posted by: brett | June 04, 2008 at 12:18 PM
Boy you sure do got a prettly little mouth.
Posted by: Jeff | June 04, 2008 at 12:18 PM
"Don't Cry Fernando, Onyewu didn't really mean what he said about your hair."
Posted by: LDogg | June 04, 2008 at 12:19 PM
Whose my big boy? Whose my big boy? You are. 'Nando's my big boy, yes he is.
Posted by: Joe_in_ND | June 04, 2008 at 12:19 PM
Luis: "I wish I knew how to quit you."
Posted by: Daniel | June 04, 2008 at 12:19 PM
WHAT DID THE FIVE FINGERS SAY TO THE FACE?
*SLAP*
Posted by: anotherbodymurdered | June 04, 2008 at 12:20 PM
"Baby face. You've got the cutest little baby face."
Posted by: William the Terror | June 04, 2008 at 12:22 PM
Listen to me: Stay AWAY from Bradley...he'll break your leg if you're not careful.
Posted by: sidenetting | June 04, 2008 at 12:27 PM
Wow! Just 5 minutes once a day and I can have white teeth like these?
Posted by: Jeffrey | June 04, 2008 at 12:27 PM
"Hey Fernando, hey, look at me..it's okay if you made a mistake. Look at Ives, he can't even spell hear correctly."
JK Ives, I had nothing else. Someone took my glands idea.
Posted by: Mike | June 04, 2008 at 12:32 PM
"Forget Thierry Henry! You - YOU! - should've been in the razor commercial. This is the face that can sell a million razors."
Posted by: Brant | June 04, 2008 at 12:34 PM
Your looking a bit down today Fernando did Rafa buy another forward?
Posted by: ejs | June 04, 2008 at 12:38 PM
"Nando, do I ever tell you how much I love that you are white?"
Posted by: Jamie Z. | June 04, 2008 at 12:39 PM
"I don't know how Rafa runs things over there, but here, we hug it out bitch."
Posted by: Seisco | June 04, 2008 at 12:41 PM
Grandpa, your embarassing me!
Posted by: brent | June 04, 2008 at 12:41 PM
What do we do when we fall down Fernando? We call for a card.
Posted by: LA Metro | June 04, 2008 at 12:42 PM
I like you..do you like me??
Posted by: ccfc0123 | June 04, 2008 at 12:43 PM
Ok Fernando, we get the plastic surgeon to pull your cheeks back and you'll be el nino forever.
Posted by: Duthie | June 04, 2008 at 12:44 PM
Yes the jaw seems intact now, but we will look at it again after you meet Gooch.
Posted by: Brett | June 04, 2008 at 12:44 PM
Isn't that the scene from Mr. Holland's Opus....."beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful boy."
Posted by: John | June 04, 2008 at 12:46 PM
Brett, are you serious? Try The Godfather Part II. Wow that is just terrible on your part.
Posted by: kpugs | June 04, 2008 at 12:46 PM
such a pretty face, it's a shame so many balls will be slapping against it
Posted by: wolverhampton wanderers | June 04, 2008 at 12:48 PM
Come here and let me see how much you've grown! You've gotten so big! What have they been feeding you in Liverpool?
Posted by: Will | June 04, 2008 at 12:49 PM
listen, what just happend in the locker room is just between you and me ok? promise me you can keep a secret
Posted by: cbr | June 04, 2008 at 12:49 PM
Aengus wins it LOL
Posted by: Aguinaga | June 04, 2008 at 12:49 PM
"Fernando, the game films hint at your beauty, but up close you are exquisite. Can we meet tonight for tapas?"
Posted by: William the Terror | June 04, 2008 at 12:53 PM
jose, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?
Posted by: John | June 04, 2008 at 12:54 PM
John McCain consoles Hillary Clinton.
Posted by: MetroTard | June 04, 2008 at 12:54 PM
Now turn you head and cough
Posted by: Rahul | June 04, 2008 at 12:58 PM
Now turn you head and cough
Posted by: Rahul | June 04, 2008 at 12:58 PM
Arragones helps warm up Torres' jaw before eating the USA's lunch.
Posted by: angler23 | June 04, 2008 at 12:59 PM
Fernando, please focus. Remember those words I taught you? Don't use them today. Jared Borgetti was the last player to call Oguchi Onyewu "negro de mierda."
Posted by: Ethan | June 04, 2008 at 01:01 PM
Fernandooooo....don't worry we'll find Toto.
Posted by: Luis Sepulveda | June 04, 2008 at 01:04 PM
Now open up and say Ahhh!
Posted by: Grizzly Bear | June 04, 2008 at 01:09 PM
Aragones: "You ... complete me."
Posted by: Dominghosa | June 04, 2008 at 01:10 PM
Wait, you're not Luis Garcia.
Posted by: Grizzly Bear | June 04, 2008 at 01:11 PM
A more complete version...
Aragones: ”We live in a cynical world. A cynical world. And we work in a business of tough competitors. I love you. You … complete me.”
Posted by: Dominghosa | June 04, 2008 at 01:13 PM
Attempt No. 2...
Aragones: ” I know what I want, because I have it in my hands right now. You.”
Posted by: Dominghosa | June 04, 2008 at 01:14 PM
Fernando.....I am your father.
Posted by: Luis | June 04, 2008 at 01:17 PM
Yes, Fernando, you are great. But when you have retired, I will still be coaching this team.
Posted by: Mig | June 04, 2008 at 01:18 PM
Sorry, but this is too easy...
Attempt No. 3:
Aragones: ”I appreciate this whole seduction thing you’ve got going on here, but let me give you a tip: I’m a sure thing.”
OR
”I could find the whole meaning of life in those sad eyes.”
Posted by: Dominghosa | June 04, 2008 at 01:18 PM
OK, last one...
"I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her."
Posted by: Dominghosa | June 04, 2008 at 01:19 PM
Why yes Fernando, your lymph nodes do feel swollen. I fear it maybe the onset of "Spain can't get past the quarterfinals of a major tournament-itis"
Posted by: ricecloudnine | June 04, 2008 at 01:22 PM
No, no. You are playing great! But your hair...I can't coach your f***ing hair, Torres. Please just wash it or something.
Posted by: HomeyBoehme | June 04, 2008 at 01:25 PM
Did you wash behind your ears? Let me check.
Posted by: Danny | June 04, 2008 at 01:27 PM
Wipe your tears Fernando, there is nothing you can do. This is our plight: no matter how great we will look against the US, we will end up losing against France... WE'RE ALWAYS OUSTED BY FRANCE !!!!
Posted by: A-man | June 04, 2008 at 01:39 PM
"Look at me, Look at me, Loot at me.... You are SO prettier than Beckham, don't even listen to what anyone says."
Posted by: nicholas s. | June 04, 2008 at 01:49 PM
No, Fernando, your teeth don't look as bad as Sven-Goran Eriksson's. Now get back on the field and stop worrying about it.
Posted by: Blake | June 04, 2008 at 02:04 PM
There was something in the air that night - the stars were bright, Fernando
Posted by: Blake | June 04, 2008 at 02:11 PM
it's okay, bubbela, you can't do it all by yourself!
Posted by: arm | June 04, 2008 at 02:18 PM
"Fernando, I am so happy you're not black."
Oh come on, someone had to say it.
Posted by: Dante | June 04, 2008 at 02:28 PM
Oh my God, it's Hanson! I -err, my daughter- loved Mmmbop.
Posted by: Moneyball | June 04, 2008 at 02:34 PM
Aragones: "I can show you the world...shining, shimmering, splendid..."
Posted by: TBryantMU | June 04, 2008 at 02:37 PM
Cheer up!... Now that you're here you don't have to worry about standing next to Crouch at the urinal.
Posted by: Ryan | June 04, 2008 at 02:37 PM
Fernando, we'll never win FIFA's Fair Play award if you make fun of the USA's lack of forward depth by sporting Brian McBride's old haircut.
Posted by: derek Gores | June 04, 2008 at 02:41 PM
You know all those goals you've been scoring in the Premier League...Why haven't you been doing that for the National Team?!
Posted by: AC | June 04, 2008 at 02:47 PM
"Can you hear the drums Fernando?
I remember long ago another starry night like this..."
Posted by: CPTKevin | June 04, 2008 at 02:50 PM
You're a Pisces you say? I'm sorry, Fernando, that doesn't fit in with my tactics. You'll have to come out.
Posted by: Scott A | June 04, 2008 at 03:01 PM
Buck up little campista maybe next year you'll score more goals than ronaldo
Posted by: Kyle | June 04, 2008 at 03:08 PM
Awe bubbleh!! Look at that little poonim!
Posted by: inkedAG | June 04, 2008 at 03:15 PM
Fernando, I've already told you. You are going to be my workhorse throughout the Euro's...so keep eating the oats out of my hands. You need your strength!
Posted by: Steve | June 04, 2008 at 03:23 PM
No Fernando, I'm not doubling as the physio, but I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night.
Posted by: Richie B | June 04, 2008 at 03:30 PM
You sing this version Nando!
"There is something in the air tonight
The stars are bright, Fernando
They are shining there for you and me
For VICTORY, Fernando
Though I never thought that we could lose
Theres no regret
If I had to do the same again
I would, my friend, Fernando"
Posted by: CPTKevin | June 04, 2008 at 03:40 PM
LUIS ARAGONES: *whimpering* But Fernando . . . age is only a number!
Posted by: David Martinez | June 04, 2008 at 04:03 PM
yes the smooth... I like very much, Raul too much the scruff, no can be Spain forward with shaggy dog scruff
Posted by: plopplopfizzfizz | June 04, 2008 at 04:22 PM
Hey boy, you got a pretty mouth.
or rather
Oye niño, tu tienes una boca bonita
Posted by: Chris | June 04, 2008 at 04:28 PM
Luis: God damn it you have pale skin, you need to put some tanning lotion on right away. Your representing Spain, you have to look beautiful and tan. (just like me)
Posted by: MZ | June 04, 2008 at 04:44 PM
Aragones: Are you Torres or Ramos?
Assistant Coach: Just touch his face.
Posted by: TapocoL | June 04, 2008 at 05:00 PM
Assistant: "Are you sure he's not a machine?"
Aragones: "Well, he certainly feels human, but when he's out there I can't tell."
Posted by: Justin | June 04, 2008 at 05:24 PM
Luis Aragones checking Fernando match day fitness. After checking his teeth, he is going to squeeze his balls.(Ala show dog style)
Posted by: Darren | June 04, 2008 at 05:29 PM
Spit out the gum! Use that nervous energy to run at the Americans.
Posted by: Don | June 05, 2008 at 07:39 AM