Altidore reaches 30-goal mark after brace leads AZ to victory

JozyAltidoreAZ (Getty)

By IVES GALARCEP

Jozy Altidore continued his outstanding goal-scoring form on Friday, adding two goals and a beautiful assist to his accomplshments in AZ Alkmaar’s 4-0 rout of Heerenveen.

Altidore delivered a first half goal before completing the route with a beautiful free kick goal and perfect back-heel assist in a victory that helped push AZ closer to safety from relegation in the Dutch League.

The goals give Altidore 30 goals in all competitions, and 23 in Dutch League play, third-most in the Dutch League.

Here are highlights of both goals and the assist:

FREE KICK GOAL

FIRST GOAL

ASSIST


Heerenveen AZ Alkmaar Gudmundsson by Counterpoint1

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145 Responses to Altidore reaches 30-goal mark after brace leads AZ to victory

  1. ATX_Colin says:

    Doing us proud, nothing but love for Jozys season, looking forward to a summer transfer.

    • Kosh says:

      Agreed – a sensible summer transfer, though.

      The kid can only get better if he keeps at it but his next move will be very important as it will tell if he can keep this up or walk into a desaster of a cluster and lose all that he has gained. I am sure he’s surrounded by smart people.

      Congrats, Jozy, you are doing us proud, sir!!

    • Dr. Rockso - The Rock n Roll Clown says:

      Okay, it’s officially Klinsky’s fault. This guy f*ckin RAWWWKSSS!!!!

    • PD says:

      if only wasn’t so lazy, he’d score sixty…

  2. Jeff says:

    Has he been taking a lot of their free kicks?

  3. Jon says:

    I thought the assist was the sexiest of them all. Need to link that one.

    • Ives Galarcep says:

      Would if there was one. I’ll add as soon as I find one.

    • TomG says:

      Typical lazy backheel assist instead of trying to take on two defenders by himself. Always taking the easy way out.

      • Ish says:

        Really? Take on two defenders when a third defender is lying on the floor behind you which leaves two completely free team mates on either flank? Watch the video again and please rethink. It’s always amazing to see a forwar who is selfless enough to actually make an assist as opposed to take an ill advised shot.

    • Gary Page says:

      I agree about that assist. It was cheeky, outrageous and beautiful; one of the best I can remember and I’ve watched probably a couple thousand soccer games over the last couple decades.

  4. jidax says:

    HA I see Jozy has gotten so much better not because of his GOALS , but that celebration for the free KICK , a la CR7 , A star is born LADIES AND GENTLEMAN !! . And I have been on the bandwagon since day one BAM!!!! #BEASTMODE

  5. a says:

    Chicha….who? we got Jozy imgine if he were at a top club he wouldve probably had 40 goals already. Imagine him at Man U. or Arsenal damn……. here’s hoping he moves to a big club and can play champions league. Magnificent Jozy………… America F**** yeah

    • DWE4 says:

      I don’t quite understand how 30 goals at AZ translates to scoring 40 goals at Man U. Matias Kezman lit up the Eredivisie 10 years ago before moving to Chelsea and doing nothing. There are other examples, as well. Oh yeah: Michael Bradley put 18 into the net in his last season at Heerenveen. Let’s not denigrate Jozy’s great form and fantastic season by requiring that he replicate the feat at Manchester United (or at Man U’s ilk) to validate his success. Here’s hoping that any transfer out of AZ lands him somewhere where he will play and continue to improve.

      • MAXIMUS says:

        Michael’s team loved to attack. He was attacking midfielder but he’s found his true calling as a defensive midfielder.

        11 goals in 75 matches for the NT. Not bad for a midfielder

        he has a career 29 goals in 219 matches. also not bad for a midfielder.

        but you’re right. Jozy’s 30 wont equate to 40 even at Man U.

        I think Jozy could realistically score 10-12 goals a season at a nice sized club in a top 4 league. Enough that he’s a starter and fans like him. Not enough to win trophies or transfer to a CL club though

        • Josh D says:

          29 is decent. But if you take out his 18 goal season, you’re left with very poor stats.

        • todd says:

          if dempsey can get to a CL club by the time his career is starting to fade then Jozy sure as hell can.

          Jozy has a lot more potential than deuce ever showed.

      • Gary Page says:

        You ignore people like Suarez and Huntelaar, among many, who went from the Eredevisie to being stars in better leagues. This is not to say he would score more elsewhere, but you assume that he has reached his top level and won’t improve. A couple of years ago many were writing him off completely even though he was only 20.

        • ChiTown says:

          They were both much, much better than Jozy at this age. Heck, they’re both close in age to him still.

          They’re also two of the best players to ever come out of the Eredivise.

          • Pirithous says:

            I’m sure you know you were just exaggerating, but Suarez is 26 and Huntelaar is 29 — not really what many would describe as “close in age to him still” given that Jozy is 23.

            That, and it’s pretty silly to suggest that Suarez and Huntelaar are are somehow exceptions — the Eredivisie has produced an enormous amount of talent over the years.

          • Riggity says:

            Suarez maybe, but Huntelaar is a ways down that list.

          • GW says:

            “They’re also two of the best players to ever come out of the Eredivise”

            I’m not sure those two are as good as Romario, Ronaldo, the original Brazilian one, Zlatan Ibrahimovic,, Michael and Brian Laudrup, Marco Van Basten, Patrick Kluivert, Ruud Van NIstelrooy, Arjen Robben, Wesley Sneijder, Robin Van Persie and Dennis Bergkamp, just to name a few.

    • JCC says:

      Only problem with that scenario is that they actually play defense in the EPL. 30 goals is impressive, but it’s the Eredivisie where defense is almost an afterthought.

      • Ross says:

        Exactly. Everyone knows if he was still at Hull he’d have 0 BPL goals.

        • Tyler K says:

          Hull City was the worst EPL team. No one was scoring for them so why you’re trying to use Jozy’s time at Hull as some sort of slight is kinda ridiculous.

          • Ross says:

            You didn’t get it.

          • Gary Page says:

            I would go farther and say Hull City was easily the worst EPL team in the last 10 years and maybe the worst EPL team ever. Plus, he usually played as a lone striker and was immediately surrounded whenever he got the ball.

            • Ross says:

              I was being sarcastic. Just how ridiculous JCC’s comment was.

              If he was at Hull now he would have 0 BPL goals BECAUSE Hull isn’t in the BPL now. But he’d probably have 20+ Championship goals.

            • francis says:

              If Jozy is EPL quality he should score goals no matter what the club – look at Benteke on a bad Villa side

            • Nick says:

              False – statistically, the worst team to grace the EPL was the Derby side of 07/08. They only managed to get 11 points and were relegated by November.

            • MAXIMUS says:

              DERBY 2007-08

  6. bryan says:

    niiiiiiiiiiiiice

  7. Vic says:

    30 goals a year is great. Now if he could score 1 a year for the national team that would be good too.

    • Josh D says:

      And that’s the infuriating thing. Against Mexico he was in the exact same position, coming inside from the left, twice and yet he created nothing. And with his assist, he hasn’t had a run at an opposition’s defense at the international level in months.

      It’s easy to say that at the national level Jozy isn’t getting service, hence his drought. But his most recent goals for AZ have been more self-made than an easy tap in.

      He has absolutely no confidence at all when he’s in a US jersey. Where’s the US Jozy I just saw in those videos?

      • KJ says:

        That’s one game game every 2 or 3 months. These are games he’s playing regularly. Doesn’t make him any less talented.

        • TomG says:

          +1. He barely ever gets the ball with USMNT in a 1v1 situation. He brought that second goal down so nicely, but I’ve never seen him get that pass with USA. He doesn’t really get the opportunity to make that run in JK’s system.

        • Vic says:

          I guess if your more of an AZ Alkmar fan than USMNT than you don’t care. Personally I root for USMNT. Altidore deserves credit for scoring in a pretty good league. If he moves on to a bigger league and continues to score I will be really impressed.

      • JCC says:

        It’s too early to tell, but Jozy might be one of those players that is great for club and poor for country.

        • TomG says:

          Like that awful Messi guy used to be before he magically began to score for Argentina. I’m sure that had nothing to do with service and sample sizes either.

          • GW says:

            For a long time Messi was scoring at almost exactly half the rate for Argentina that he did for Barca.

            Argentina has gotten better since Maradona left but Messi has been on fire so that scoring rate disparity may actually have gotten worse this last season.

      • dude says:

        As I see it, he has been far more lively in the last two qualifiers. One was in a snow storm, and his low driven shot led to the break through. The other was in Azteca, where no one is expected to score, and goals are only hoped for.

        If he doesn’t score in the upcoming qualifiers, then we can worry about his performance for his country. But now that the formation has become more logical (no more three DMs running around), and now that he’s scored 30 goals in his own league, think he’s due for a break out performance.

      • Anthony says:

        Mexico has better defenders than most teams in the Netherlands considering that Hector Moreno and Francisco Rodriguez won championships with Eredivisie teams.

  8. why don't says:

    if he reaches 35, he can have my wife

  9. Guero says:

    Anyone notice on the first goal how he took the ball down with the outside of his foot to steer his run toward the goal. That’s legit skill!

    • CroCajun1003 says:

      Any questions about Jozy’s first touch should be directed to this video. Yes, when he was 19 he had touch issues. But he ain’t 19 no mo. Helllllluva player.

      • TomG says:

        Yes. So many posters are clueless about how good his touch is. It’s like all they see is a big body and assume he has no touch.

      • CplDaniel says:

        Isnt there a great Jozy goal from 6-months ago or so where he jukes past or through 2 or 3 defenders and scores a kick ass goal?

        link to oi53.tinypic.com
        nevermind, he didn’t put it away, but he certainly played a big part in creating the goal!

  10. why don't says:

    He needs to move to a big club. Either in the Bundesliga or Serie A and I demand 10 league goals a season. 15 in all competitions. If he does that, then I won’t care if he scores for the NT or not. We need a consistent US goal scorer in Europe.

    • JCC says:

      What would be the point then???

      • Riggity says:

        Wow, use your brain. If there are American players playing and scoring in European leagues(regardless of what they are doing in International play) consistently MORE teams will be willing to give American’s a chance to prove themselves.

        • JCC says:

          There’s no evidence this would be the case. Are there more Peruvian players in Europe because Claudio Pizarro was lighting up the Bundesliga a few years ago?

          • Falsify says:

            Why use this as an example? Peruvians could be happier playing in the Peru’s domestic league. Plus they already have several players playing in Spain.

  11. Molaon says:

    Agudelo, McInerney

    head to the Dutch league ASAP.

    In fact they could both leave by season’s end. Find a nice mid table club like AZ or Utrecht

    • 2tone says:

      McInereney has already trialed in the Eredivisie there were no takers hence why he is playing in MLS right now.

  12. Yanks Abroad says:

    23 league goals. Outstanding. Wilfred Bony has 30. Jozy has ways to go to catch up with him

    but for sure Jozy looks like he might be getting a 10-15 million dollar transfer this season

    • Rami says:

      Jozy also plays on a terrible team. How many of Bonys goals are penalties I think that puts him a lot closer to Jozy.

  13. sni says:

    I tell ya. Jozy will score us 3 goals to lead us to the WC quarter finals. should I put money on it?

  14. Dave says:

    If it takes the insertion of Landycakes into the MNT lineup to get Jozy scoring so be it. Wheel him in and give him a walker if necessary.

  15. Dakota Sillyman says:

    DAT PASS. Seriously what an assist.

  16. sni says:

    I’d love to see Jozy at a Fiorentina or Lazio

    • CroCajun1003 says:

      But both those teams have great strikers. Fiorentina has Rossi and Jovetic (sp) and Lazio has Klose. Then again, Klose can’t be playing too much longer.

      • 2tone says:

        Jovetic will be leaving.

        Fiorentina has been scouting Jozy since the beginning of this season. My guess Jovetic will be sold and you will be looking at a Rossi/Altidore partnership next season.

        • 2tone says:

          Arsenal is set to put in a 20 to 25 million Pound bid for Jovetic, so Fiorentina will have the money to go after Jozy.

          • CroCajun1003 says:

            Hope that works out. I really like Fiorentina because Jovetic is one of my favorites. Quietly one of the top strikers around.

            I’d love to see jovetic jump to Arsenal and Jozy to don the purple.

        • Rami says:

          Jozy and Rossi together might literally make me puke

        • Tomas says:

          They have ?? That’s the first I’ve heard of it, not that I’m an insider, but I follow La Viola closely. I suppose it doesn’t surprise me that much either. Prade and Montelle did an amazing job turning the club around this year. My guess is that with the proceeds from the sale of Jovetic they’ll set their sights on a more established goal scorer than Jozy, but we’ll see..

    • Josh D says:

      The great strikers are now coming out of Germany. Send him there.

      • Yusef says:

        + 1. Also, no need to deal with the racist BS in Serie A.

      • Gary Page says:

        Plus, I think it suits his style of play. He’s rather in the mold of a German striker, large, fast, and physical so that he can score both in the air and on the ground, muscling off defenders when necessary.

  17. sunny in philadelphia says:

    Jozy had 23 goals last season.

    Jozy now has 30 goals with 4 games left. He could finish with 35.

    yes of course it’s the DUTCH league. But that dutch league is ranked 8th in Europe. Sure lots of guys can score goals.

    But Jozy is scoring on a team thats been inconsistent all season and edged toward relegation. He is the team’s MVP this season. Show him some love

  18. sunny in philadelphia says:

    JOZY is a Golden God.

    we should all be lucky to dream of him

  19. Ryan nanez says:

    Obligatory sarcastic joke/comment about how lazy joy was he couldn’t be bothered to move out of the way on the first goal that’s why it hit him in the head and went in. Haha, but in all seriousness congrats jozy! Great season

    • MAXIMUS says:

      those jokes surely on their last legs right. i mean 30 goals. it’d be 1 thing if it was in Iceland

  20. MAXIMUS says:

    JOZYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

  21. beto says:

    awesome stuff! Jozy is on fire! how many games are left in the Dutch season?

  22. Ryan in NYC by way of NC says:

    The USMNT are undefeated when he scores.

  23. silly trolls says:

    No defense in the Dutch league. The defenders were just standing in a line on the free kick goal. 30 goals = -10 goals in a real league.

  24. Jazz says:

    What has been made clear to me is that Jozy plays out of position with the USMNT. Playing the lone hold up target striker will never allow him to turn and attack the goal like he seems to do on the club level. Maybe its time for him to switch positions with Herc, Or sit EJ and bring on Boyd so that Jozy can play facing the goal from the wings.

    • beachbum says:

      +1

      and it’s the midfield’s lack of connecting and creating that is THE issue with Klinnsman’s USMNT temas

  25. Brett says:

    People need to slow down. He’s playing in an open league for a team that plays a high attacking style. Let’s be happy that he’s developing skill and vision and not be so worried about what transfer is coming. The last thing we need is for his development to stunt again because he goes to a team he can’t break into.

    • Riggity says:

      I understand what you are saying but how many other players playing in Holland have 30+ goals this season? I think it goes without saying that Jozy (like every other professional footballer) needs to move somewhere where he is going to get consistent minutes and have a team that is dedicated to his success. But there is NO reason to not be really excited about his future, he is still young and eventually he is going to break his cold streak for the Nats and become a major player.

  26. EspinDOHla says:

    AHHH YEAH!!
    On that first goal, great skill taking it out of the air and great reflexes to head it back in off the goalie’s block.

    I might be in the minority but I think it might be better for Jozy to stay at AZ next season; the season before the WC where he is guaranteed playing time and is comfortable (see the recent espnfc interview). I think the stability that AZ has provided him has allowed him to prosper and I’m sure Ernie Stewart has been a great mentor.

    • MAXIMUS says:

      sounds great but when a club offers AZ 10 million euros, they will sell him

      • WG says:

        Maybe. Maybe not. Adam Maher is leaving for a reputed 18+ million Euros to either Man City or Arsenal this summer.. Jozy has stated recently that he is willing to stay at AZ. There have also been suggestions that some of the money for Maher will be spent upgrading the roster for next season. It could be as straight forward as that, or it might be a way to indicate he isn’t willing to go somewhere and rot on the bench.

  27. IgnerAnt says:

    That was awesome… but did anyone else notice that the play by play guy on the first goal sounds like Swedish Chef from the Muppets? I’ve never heard anyone who actually sounded like that. Un der Jozy! Bork bork bork!

  28. AC says:

    Dude is in ultra beast mode! Obviously would be nice to see him score for the national team, but they only meet a few times a year. Also, the team is still in that reactive state many times, while AZ Alkmaar is a very proactive team. Jozy gets isolated by himself too much on the national team without proper service. Not to say he hasn’t had some chances but obviously playing week in and out for AZ has put him in rhythm. Hopefully that will change with the national team.. Either way, the guy is on an awesome run of form.

  29. Ali Dia says:

    Does he sell for more or less than the Villareal fee ($10mm — still a record for USA player)? Also, off topic, but what kind of fee does Omar G. command assuming a healthy and productive season?

    • WG says:

      Ernie Stewart has said that some teams in Eastern Europe(Russia/Ukraine?) offered 8 million Euros for Jozy in the winter transfer window, so he was worth a bit more than 10 million USD then. And, this was before he started being better in the air, showed that he is good at taking PKs, can pass at distance, and today’s free kick goal.

  30. MAXIMUS says:

    19 goals last season, 30 so far (maybe he gets to 35)

    maybe he can hit 40 next season. That would be so friggin amazing

  31. Brian says:

    The announcer who called the header goal makes me want to start following the dutch league or move to the Netherlands.
    And, I agree with Jazz. Jozy on the wing with Boyd as striker.

    • nathan says:

      Or we could play a formation with two forwards. Revolutionary idea, never been tried before in professional soccer

      • Bobb says:

        Isn’t that illegal?!??

        But seriously we can’t regress to Bunker Bob Bradley 4-4-2 when we are playing attractive attacking soccer under Klinsmann and some games even creating as many as two shots on goal.

  32. divers suck says:

    It’s fantastic seeing Jozy light it up in Holland. Why hasn’t it transferred to the USMNT in nearly 2 years now? Where he just seems stagnant….

    • Anthony says:

      because the Eredivisie is a terrible league defensively, three goals there are like one goal in any of the top three leagues.

    • beachbum says:

      take a peak at te USMNT’s lack of idld creation and connecting to find yoswers…do you watch the games?

  33. markwriter says:

    anyone else think Borussia Dortmund might be a good fit?

    • Riggity says:

      YES!!! I was going to say this a couple weeks ago. With Lewandowski and Gotze leaving you know they will be looking for attacking players. They would be able to buy Jozy and multiple other quality players to try to rebuild after these big clubs tear them apart limb for limb after the Champions League final.

    • ChiTown says:

      No.

      He wouldn’t sniff the starting line up. He’s playing well where he’s at, but people need to seriously chill out about these major moves. He isn’t going to a top club. Period.

      He’ll get some offers from mid table clubs in France and England, but he is not going to a top club. He isn’t good enough.

      Enjoy his success here and now, because he will not replicate this in a better league. That’s reality. There are only 2 players in the EPL with more than 20 goals.

      • markwriter says:

        Hm. He’s so physically gifted and technically excellent, it’s always been a work rate thing, and from what I see, he’s made major strides in that regard. He may have already passed the threshold where his improved work habits have made him a lock at a higher level. Another option may be for him to ‘stay in school’ for one more year at AZ, and then he’s a lock for Germany.

      • JCC says:

        Exactly. In the past 10 years there have been 5 players that have scored more than 30 goals in the Eredivisie:

        Mateja Kezman (twice), Huntelaar, (twice), Afonso Alves, Luis Suarez, and Bas Dost, so far only Suarez and Huntelaar have had success outside of the Eredivisie.

      • Nate Dollars says:

        uh, lewandowski didn’t really sniff the starting lineup when he was signed by dortmund either. took an injury to barrios(?) to promote him from the bench.

        • ChiTown says:

          Lewandowski already had 68 goals scored in the Polish first division in 4 years when he was signed by Dortmund at age 21. He was considered at that point one of the best young strikers in the world.

          Before Jozy joined AZ he had 3 goals in 3 years.

          • MAXIMUS says:

            68 goals in Poland is the same as 63 goals by WONDO in MLS. except Lewandowski was 22 and Wondo was 29.

      • Chris says:

        Those are some pretty bold statements to make. I guess Altidore should just give up, since he will NEVER make it at a top club. PERIOD.

        Oh wait, he’ll be fine. Because you’re a douche. Period. You aren’t good enough.

      • THomas says:

        Except nobody other than these big clubs are going to be able to sniff the transfer fee he’s going to demand on the market.

      • Rami says:

        People hold things Jozy did as a teenager against him , If jozy was Mexican you sad self-loathers would be saying how we could never produce a player that could score 30

        • Anthony says:

          only this season there are a couple players with the same scoring record as Altidore in the Eredivisie, and he is scoring in the 8th “best” league in Europe below Portugal, France, Russia and Ukraine, from there to the 4th best, Italy, there is a giant gap and from Italy to the other 3 best there is another gap almost as big, being honest you can find better teams in Brazil, Argentina and Mexico than in the Netherlands, the only exceptions being PSV and Ajax

  34. Chris says:

    I find it laughable anybody is trying to negate 30 goals.

    ITS THIRTY FREAKING GOALS. That’s top class in any top tier professional league.

    • Anthony says:

      actually that’s normal in the Netherlands

      • Riggity says:

        Ya, its like teenage smoking in Europe, literally everyone in Holland is dropping 30…the leagues got a whole bunch of Kobe’s running around.

        • schmo says:

          Jozy flopped in the EPL just like Kezman & Alves before him. He should head to Australia where his mentor, Heskey currently plays

  35. THomas says:

    And this is how you get transferred for $20 million plus

  36. Joamiq says:

    Jozy, Jozy, Jozy! Best part to me was his first touch on the first goal. There’s been some definite improvement in his game, no doubt about it.

  37. kimo says:

    The back-heel was downright nasty! The kid has grown by leaps and bounds …technically, tactically and professionally. He’s still not at the top of his game. If he can bring his work rate up another notch he could be really special. As far as his performance for the USMNT, he plays as a lone striker in a system that gives him very little service. If we had legit wingers and a top notch CAM, I think you’d see a more dynamic Altidore.

  38. BallsonmyChin says:

    I think the following clubs are realistic options for Jozy:

    Everton
    Tottenham
    Schalke
    Leverkusen
    Dortmund
    Marseille
    Lyon
    Sevilla
    Valencia
    Atletico
    Fiorentina
    Napoli

    There are certainly more who fall in the category I’m thinking of, which is teams that compete for Champions League football but are a tier below the elite. I think he could compete for a starting position at these clubs. They all either need a striker, don’t have one as talented as Jozy, or will probably sell their talent this summer. Especially because the World Cup is in 2014, he should choose very wisely. I think he’s immensely talented and hasn’t hit his ceiling yet, but he is not ready to compete for time at any of the clubs that are in the running to win the Champions League trophy year in, year out. Maybe he could also move to Arsenal or Juve, since they could both use more striking options. It’s important that he’s equipped to fight for time, but I think he’s a very talented guy with both technical ability and great strength, so I believe.

    Whichever team swoops for him will hopefully have the equivalent of Adam Maher, who’s a great playmaker. If you watch Jozy’s goals, you’ll notice how well they play together. He has been partially responsible for Jozy’s expanded repertoire. Jozy has become a lot better at combination play (in the form of both clever runs and touches with his back to goal) by working with Maher. The whole team sort of works through his creativity. If Jozy has that, I think he can score around 15 goals over his 1st year in a top league. I would rather he moved to Spain, Italy, England, or Germany than France, because in the first 4, he’ll have very difficult competition every week.

    It’s really exciting to watch him blossom. Ever since I saw him help the U20 team go on a run at the 2007 World Cup in Canada I knew he had great potential. But, I suppose you could have said the same thing about Danny Szetela, and he very sadly petered out.

  39. Captain Obvious says:

    I think this may help a number of readers on this blog:

    Definition of SARCASM (from Merriam-Webster)

    1: a sharp and often satirical or ironic utterance designed to cut or give pain
    2a : a mode of satirical wit depending for its effect on bitter, caustic, and often ironic language that is usually directed against an individual
    2b : the use or language of sarcasm

    Examples of SARCASM

    a voice full of sarcasm
    “I know you’re not happy, but there’s no need to resort to petty sarcasms to make your point.”

    “That was my favorite show yet this tour,” Banks says. “I love audiences that are ambivalent.” For a second, I think he’s laying on the sarcasm, until he continues. “I really like the chance to win people over.” —David Peisner, Spin, August 2007

    • GW says:

      Captain Obvious,

      What your helpful guide misses is your definitions refer primarily to SPOKEN sarcasm.

      In a written medium like SBI it is impossible to detect intonation.

      If you are going to use sarcasm to make a point on SBI, a medium where people who respond to your post often barely read it and may not understand it, you should be prepared for it to be missed.

      “Some languages have special ways of identifying sarcastic remarks and other unreal phrases. Special punctuation for sarcastic text has also been proposed. There are many informal ways of indicating that text is sarcastic, which can be useful because written text cannot have any of the intonation that helps people identify sarcasm.

      In the past, remarks categorized as sarcasm included any bitter or biting commentary designed to cut or insult someone. More recently, sarcastic language has been more narrowly defined to include only those statements that rely on understatement or irony for their power. This use of language is sometimes identified as unplain speaking, in which what is said is different from what is meant. Learning to identify sarcasm can be difficult for some people, but it is important to comprehend this type of speech in order to be considered a fully functional speaker of a language.

      Most fluent speakers of a language are able to use sarcasm, but not all may be able to identify the mechanism by which this type of speech functions. Generally, sarcasm works by stating a thing that is untrue in a specific tone of voice associated with this device in a given language. Simply making an untrue statement is usually not enough to identify the remark as sarcastic, and the tone of voice in which the remark is made helps others understand that the statement is not to be taken seriously.

      Sarcastic expressions are typically said to work through irony, but it is important to differentiate between an ironic situation and a sarcastic remark. Speech that is sarcastic is dependent on the speaker, but ironic speech is usually unintentional on the part of the speaker, thereby creating an ironic situation. It can therefore be said that sarcastic language relies on irony for its humorous value, but that it does not create an ironic situation.”

      link to wisegeek.com

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