One of the most bizarre aspects of the U.S. men's national team's 2-2 vs. Costa Rica was Costa Rican head coach Rene Simoes' ejection and the subsequent dust-up that saw a team trainer also tossed and Simoes escorted from the field by security.
That scene not only contributed to the additional stoppage time the United States used to find last-gasp equalizer, it also provided some comic relief.
With that in mind, here is our latest You Write the Caption:
Photo by ISIphotos.com
"I don't know where it went. I had a two-goal lead right here officer."
Now it's your turn. Write a funny caption to go with this photo and we will select the ten best and have SBI readers vote on which caption is the best. I will work on securing a prize for the winner (And no, I didn't forget the Beckham-Referee YWTC, I will post the best of those entries on Friday).
Send your captions our way.
The powerful nation of Costa Rica gets no respect in this po-dunk town.
What, we’re not going to South Africa!?!?
Officer, it wasn’t my third-place spot. I was just holding it for a friend.
Where has “You Write the Caption” been the last two months?
“I beg to differ. You need a purpose when not loitering…therefore you must go.”
Can you guys escort me back to Costa Rica, too?
Excuse me officer, can you give me directions to South Afri… Uh..I mean Uraguay?
What do you mean you got plane tickets for South America? I wanted South Africa!
I makea da pizza pie!
Come on, officers, I was just explaining to him that I wanted a Nobel Peace Prize too…I thought everyone in DC gets one for free.
“Do I get to coach against Uraguay”
Arthur Fonzerelli grew a mustache and tried to impersonate Rene Simoes, however he was found out as an imposter when he would only reply with “thumbs up”.
But officer, why would I want to go to Montevideo?
MOVE ALONG, MOUSTACHIO
“I was trying to sub in Gilbert Arenas”
Spare some change for the unemployed?
“He’s not just a puppet, he’s a real BOY!”
Officer you have mistaken me for someone else, my name is Elmer J. Fudd, millionare, I own a…
“Dey call my boys diving sofabishes, I don’t know deez words.”
But I tell you again – this was not my marijuana, it belongs to the coach of the Honduran National Team!
“If it weren”t for those meddling kids I would have gotten away with it too…”
“Yeah, so maybe my hat has a cape. Sometimes it rains in The Matrix.”
Who’s Deloris? She said I did what?
hey! I am 70 yrs old , you dont need 4 police officers to escort me out..
“Coach, stop doing the Macarena and leave the pitch.”
I am Phil Scolari! I swear!
Simoes: “Officer, is it raining?”
DC’s Finest: “No, those are the tears of your players as you lost them two points!”
Why you do this to Papi? You no like my pasta??
So the Doctor put his hands like this and said “cough.”
But the gloves didn’t fit.
Im just trying to find luigi
“don’t taze me, bro!”
Here I was all worked up to the most fantastic belly slide! How can you take that away from me?
What, me worry?
“That red card? Is no mine!”
“I have no idea who Frank Sobotka is, and stop calling me ‘The Greek.’ Go back to Baltimore.”
“que pasa??? pero esperense…que paso? my english no good, guat hapen?
Simoes: “I don’t know….uh…Chivas USA?”
COP: “Errrrrrrr…wrong! Come with us.”
Simoes: “Wait, wait”
MLS Trivia Police are REAL and should be respected at all times!
Officers, I was just trying to do DC United and Kevin Payne a favor. I don’t know why the bomb didn’t go off inside my jacket. You know they need a new stadium.
“Oh God, Chris Hansen….I swear I’ve never done this before!”
“What? I see smoke, I yell bomb. This is problem?
I am a coach, I am not here illegally!
I’m telling you, these 2 hands propped up Ben Olsen’s ass for the ESPN Magazine body issue.
“You mean cheap diving and stalling tactics don’t win you any fans on the blogs? ¿Quién sabe?”
“Thanks for escorting me to the locker room guys. Anyone want to hear my ‘Evita’ impersonation…’Don’t cry for me Maradona!’”
I really did have free candy!
“I’m sorry I thought this was America…..”
You must be mistaking me for my brother, Ron Jeremy?
i am familair with tarjeta roja and tarjeta amarilla, but i know nothing of this “tarjeta verde” you ask for.
It’s a me Mario.
Costa Rica Manager – “Ok…here’s what I wanted to tell the ref…I was politely trying to tell him tha..”
DC Cop – “yo mr manager of costa rica, i know you guys are close to qualifying and all…and ima let you finish, but mexico’s manager had one of the best sending offs of all time yo!”
“Call me old fashioned, but I thought you actually had to DO something to win a Nobel Prize…our President mediated a potential war to get his! Boom. I said it.”
Thanks for the escort fellas, it’s really not necessary…wait, is that Craig Bellamy!?!
Officer, those ten men over there just stole my ticket to South Africa!
I don’t see how Ives doesn’t win this by himself. Ives, your caption is the best by far.
You got the wrong guy. I’m Juan Valdez, the Colombian Coffee commercial guy.
Cop: Senor I’m going to have to ask you to kindly leave.
Coach: Mi Scuzzi, mi scuzzi.
Cop: I don’t know what that means but please take your hand off my leg.
Good one Steve. The Kanye stuff never get old…
ouch! I really feel bad for Costa Rica. I’ve taken several trips to their beautiful country, and the Ticos are good people in general. Hopefully they can get a great result at Saprissa and hold on at the Centenario. Would love to see four CONCACAF teams in South Africa next summer.
Oops!! I think I just crapped my pants.
“What!?! Sir Alex Ferguson never gets kicked out for this!!!”
“Git your stinking america paws off of me – don’t you know, I am also een inspecta of dee lew. And I vill find the pink panther diamond…een fact, I vill look fer eet in Montevideo soon.”
[apologies for the poor P.Sellers written accent]
No hablo ingles, senor!!!
I don’t know where my team went either. They were here a minute ago and they just disappeared! Maybe you can help me look?
I didn’t bring my Rosetta Stone with me, thus I can’t communicate with you. I will instead resort to hand gestures and yelling.
Anybody want to help a semi-retarded individual coach a soccer team?
(inspiration via Larry David on Curb)
WHYYYYYYYYYYY?!?!?! Why? Why? Why can’t we have great comebacks like the USA?
Oh no I think I saw a putty cat, oh my bad that was the ganga talking, that I had left over from my time coaching the reggae boyz!!!
Gentleman, a two goal lead is like fine breasts, if you don’t take care of them, they leave you with blue soccer balls.
“C’mon, I ordered that pizza 45 minutes ago.”
Two Teams No Cup.
You can’t arrest me! What is this, some podunk banana republic like Costa Rica or Honduras?
“I don’t understand, my green card must have fallen out of my pocket on the way to the stadium…honest!”
“Look officers…she said she was 18 and she had titties way out to here. How could I possibly pass that up?”
At-ti-ca!! At-ti-ca!! AT-TI-CA!!!!
Please don’t send me back to Choke-a-Rica
“Book ‘em Dan-o”
What? I don’t even like gallo pinto.
“5 dollar foot long”
“It’s amazing…it’s a blanket…but it has sleeves…so you put your hands through it like this.”
“Beckham invited me down on the pitch for a beer, honest.”
“It was time for an umbrella drink anyway. . . ”
Take a look at these hands.
Take a look at these hands.
The hand speaks. The hand of a government man.
Well I’m a tumbler. Born under punches.
“I cannota finda Luigi anywhere”
“Officer,…please,…believe me, I have no idea where this guy John O’Brien is.”
“Look, I know I’m a foreigner near the White House, but all I said was that I didn’t think Obama had done enough yet to warrant the Nobel Peace Prize.”
“Whatya meana Iya canta joina da policia servicia? Looka ata mya moostachea!”
Badges! We don’t need no stinking badges.
“Please no send me to da locka room. Der iz nossing to do in zer, except watcha da t.v. which only have da ESPN. Please…no make me listen to John Harkes say the obvious commentary. Why he still gotta the job? Dis iz a recession. Why dey no shut his microphone off?”
Officer, I sware I have my passport back at the hotel
But if all four of you come, you’re only protecting me six hours a day. The rest of the time, you’re on the beach!
Hey, don’t look at me, I wasn’t the one who stole Grant Wahl’s wallet. I’m not even Honduran! You can tell because I’m not going to the World Cup yet.
Rene Simoes futilely attempts to convince authorities that he found Harry Potter’s missing Invisibility Cloak.
Simoes: ¿Por qué oficial? Yo no hice nada.
Officer: Come Again?
Simoes: Acabo de comer un hongo. Perdà mi flor del fuego.
Officer: You know I don’t speak Spanish! In English please!
Officer I don’t know why you’re asking me to leave, I DO like you poncho hat
“officer, did you get those soccer shoes I sent you?”
You must let me go, I must save the Princess! She is being help captive by King Bowser in the far away land of South Africa!
What do you mean the Phillies? I likea da Doyers and the Angels in World Series.
Officer: “I’m going to have to arrest your for impersonating an officer of the law”
Simoes: “But . . . But . . . I was just showing them my Peter Sellers Inspector Clouseau costume for the upcoming Halloween party!”
I don’t know how I ended up here!? Luigi and I were plumbing and then here I was coaching.
Abooboo dababa
At least we don’t have to play Argentina
Why did they make all those signs for Robbie Rogers? He didn’t even start!
Again, with the firing? Oi! Oh, it’s just an ejection!
Officer: “Sir, you are under arrest for public defecation. Please come with us.”
Simoes: “What, for that little thing? I just got a little scared when I realized the ref was tracking how much time we spent faking injuries. All the other teams said it worked like a charm.”
No habla espanol?
Uncle Leo gets escorted out of the bookstore after Jerry rats him out for shoplifting.
I don’t know how this happened, but I just got outcoached by Bob Bradley
I swear I didn’t steal the golden ticket. My nephew Charlie found it inside a Wonka Bar.
But its a me! Mario!!!
A goobada boobadie
Seriously… How am I losing to a team coach by Bob Bradley?
“Look, if you’re not David Beckman, I don’t give a damn”
“I’m an old man. I’m confused! I thought I paid for it. What’s my name? Will you take me home?”
What?? I swear I wasn’t trying to steal your police rain hat
“Dey call my boys diving sofabishes, I don’t know deez words.”
Posted by: Jon
This one has my vote!
“Please officer! I would have gotten away with this, if it wasn’t for these meddling kids!”
Mama Mia! Now dat’s a spicy meatball!
I clearly asked the travel agent for non stop round trip to south Africa not south America, ay dios mio!
“Green Cards? We don’t need no stinking green cards!”
“…Hello?”
- Uncle Leo
Honest. I was in favor of having the next Olympics in Chicago.
I swear I didn’t call BB a little bitch for starting Coner Casey once again!…. pizza at my place?
I’m not worried. I left John C Reilly in charge!
Come on…a 95th minute goal? Thats not how you say “Fair-n-square”
I don’t get it… The 4th official asked me if I liked fishsticks, I said yes and he called me a gay fish…
See … what had happened was … aw, forget it!
But I did, I did saw a putty tat.
All I want is my cowboy hat back! You see, it’s about this big and it’s white and I remember leaving it near one of the goalposts…
Oh no officer, we’re fine. We didn’t actually choke. It’s just an expression…
“That wasn’t my cocaine!!! that was Maradona’s! how is he getting away with all this??? ”
Dont talk about Playoffs!? The playoffs?!…you kidding me? the playoffs!?
What? You know you were thinking it too — that Balloon Boy kid is a real douce!
“Did I do thaaaaaat?”
She said she was 18, I swear I did not know she was 14.
In Brazil they told me that Concacaf was a walk in the park, I just didn’t know I’d be scorted!?
I have red card …… not green card, pls don’t deport me
De stadium was too loud, I didn’t hear the ref say “You are fired”…..he should have used the “cobra strike” sign then I would have gone without fussing
“How was I to know the extra 2 minutes of stoppage time added because of this was going to kill us?”
“How was I supposed to know the coffee and donuts were only for you cops?”
or
“I don’t remember assaulting the 4th official, my memory is shot to hell in my old age! See, I even thought we were winning the game.”
“You guys have a lot better things to do in southeast DC than walk me to the locker room”.
What do you mean the Princess is in another castle?!?!
What do you mean Uruguay…isn’t the world cup in South Africa!
BrianK
The O’Brien line is classic!
Six guys were running around here butt-naked last week and I can’t take my shirt off???
“Honestly, I don’t know what happened. One minute I was holding an automatic spot in the World Cup. The next minute it was gone!”
She told me she was 18!
Officer: What… is your quest?
Rene Simoes’ : I seek a World Cup Final birth.
Officer: What… is your favourite color?
Galahad: Red. No, yel… (as he is thrown out of the game)
correction:
Officer: What… is your quest?
Rene Simoes’ : I seek a World Cup Final birth.
Officer: What… is your favourite color?
Rene Simoes’: Red. No, yel… (as he is thrown out of the game)
but chris hanson, she said she was 19!
Jackbooted thugs? Jackbooted thugs!? I’d never say that about RFK security. I said “these gentlemen need hugs.”
I swear to joo…on my mother’s Grave! I thought sleeping with interns was acceptable in dees cuntry!
Simoes: “But, officer, I can’t leave now! We’re about to book a trip to South Africa!”
Officer: “Just walk away, Rene, and you won’t see Bornstein send your boys back home.”
Seriously, can you really blame Letterman? Have you seen his wife?
Q: How many different kinds of uniformed security personnel does it take to escort the Costa Rican soccer coach off the field?
A: Three — one to explain what has happened, one to make him show his hands to make sure he’s not carrying anything dangerous, and one to make sure he doesn’t flop on the ground and writhe around for five minutes.
You know they’re always calling me Argentine, c’mon really?
Officer: “Its a crime how much they are paying you.”
I was holding the two goal lead, just like this, and then it was not there. Can you help me officer?
“our father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name…….”
“I swear she looks at least 13.”
Okay, for once Ives caption just can’t be beat.
All I asked the fourth official was “Cual es tu numero?”
Coach – “Oficial. Yo no hecho nada. Sueltenme!! Que gringos mas cabrones!!!! Solo quiero patearle el culo a mis jugadores!!!
Officer – No way Jose. You are out of here. Please let me escort you to Dulles airport.
-Please Officers…Please…Dont make me watch a replay of Jonathon Bornstiens Play at LB. i’ll do anything! This is in-humane! IN THE NAME OF PAULO MALDINI…PLEASE!
But Jack Warner guaranteed me that Costa Rica would be going to South Africa…? I want you to arrest that bastard!
“I swear she told me she was eighteen. I didn’t know she was your daughter.”
But you ask the impossible, no way can I judge which of you wins the silly hat competition