Good morning folks. It has been a while since the last installment of You Write the Caption but it is time bring the contest back. We at SBI will be looking to keep it in the weekly rotation for those of you who think you are talented enough to provide some comedy on a regular basis.
This week's contest is brought to you by Objectivo Apparel, which will reward the winning caption writer with a t-shirt from it's collection.
This week's installment of YWTC features none other than David Beckham, who watched his AC Milan teammate Kaka turn down a monstrous transfer bid from Manchester City. We can all assume that Beckham would have turned down a similar offer, what with him being a lifelong Manchester United fan and all, but then again you can't help but wonder whether he might have considered the offer if Man City's Arab owners had come calling with their vast amounts of oil money.
With that in mind, here is this week's YWTC:
'Hey Alexi, nice disguise but I still can't get you a job here at Milan."
or
"Why buy Kaka when you can have me and Victoria for half the price?"
Now it's your turn. Please submit your caption suggestions in the comments section below. Please remember to try and keep them reasonably short and tasteful enough for public consumption.
I will select the 10 best entries and put them up for a fan vote on which is the best. The writer of the winning caption will receive a prize of the t-shirt of their choice from the Objectivo Apparel line.
Now, fire away.
Why yes, the Armani ad was all me, thanks for asking!
You know I have my own fashion line, right?
“see you in 3 years mate”
Let me be the first to Sheik your hand.
So Dwayne, how’s Toronto?
Hey Landon….good thing they make turbans in Bayern colors now, huh.
Let the stereotyping and half-racist comments begin.
stack chips and count that arab money
yes, surprisingly, i make more money than you.
I would like DUBAI you a drink sometime.
They may have struck oil with Kaka, but you can run your team for years with my profits.
I see no reason the galaxy wouldn’t loan me to Hamas United.
“My favorite song is “Arab Money” by Busta Rhymes ya know;)…”
Sure, I can introduce you to *all* of the spice girls!
I used to have hair like that
“That headdress is so great. Where’d you get it–Armani?”
Sacha Baren Cohen’s latest alter ego, Ur Fyad, manages to fool Beckham into a mock interview once again.
pcfc…agreed, seems like an invitation for that.
Why yes, I do think the galaxy would accept a 108 Million pound offer for me, and no, I don’t think they’d accept it for Donovan.
Hey Maldini, I think when they said “dress appropriately in Dubai”, they meant that it was going to be warm”
I could make that thing on your head look good!
Mmmmm – I love that fragrance you are wearing. Could that be the smell of…money?
Becks: Shut up Sven
Beckham takes part in ARAB PUNK’D as he thanks host Ahmed Kutcher for cleverly stealing Landon Donovans brand new Munich table clothe.
Of course I’ll transfer to your new team, Chivas USA. This way I don’t even have to leave town!
Beckham: “Saddam, didn’t they kill you already?”
Hey mate, nice dress; who is the designer and where can I pick one up for myself? I like to wear those things when my wife isn’t looking.
Beckham’s note to self: Need to work on sincere smile.
Fabio Capello meeting with David Beckham…Capello didnt want anyone to know he was scouting
I’d be interested in helping promote your newly founded Dubai Premier League. I promise I’ll last at least two full seasons this time.
Nice to meet you sir. It’s been a pleasure raking in your money.
Yeah I’ll play for Man City. but only if Posh can have front row seats.
“What’s that? Ownership opportunities?”
Thanks for wearing the Aviators- I look good. I mean really good.
1. Yes, I am serious about playing in the West Bank Pro-Am League–anything would be better than the Galaxy.
2. It’s always a pleasure to meet someone from Gazza–so tell me, how is Paul doing these days?
3. Well, since there is no alcohol in Saudia Arabia, if I join your side at least no-one will say I play for a pub team!
Why yes Posh, I just love your new look. So good to see you again. Give the children my best won’t you?
$50 million dollars!? I am sorry, Mr. Beckham, but we cannot bid that amount of money to take you away from LA. Even at Manchester City, we are feeling the sting of the global economic crisis. We must be prudent going forward, we must weigh the costs and benefits of each deal carefully, and spending such an extravagant amount of money for a player of your age simply does not make economic sense. . . I will, however, give you $100 million for a lock of that beautiful hair.
I stack chips. AC Milan jersey sales gave me Arab money son!
Do you own any football teams? I would love to come here to save Arab football too for the right price!
I’ll accept your bid if you include 3 of your wives, and I never have to play against United and I can tell IT to shut up.
“Derka derka”
“I still have strong ties to Manchester United, it would look bad it I went to go to Man City.”
“Derka derka 107 derka”
“For 107 million…..I’m there”
“I can’t believe this guy is paying $50M just to smile”
Are you really Goldenballs?
Yes, I told Kaka that he should stay with top level players rather than move for money. Yes, I do actually play for the Galaxy and am just on loan to AC Milan. Yes, the Galaxy were second worst in MLS, and I make more than anyone else in the league. What’s your point?
“Now the King told the boogie men…”
Our outfits kind of match, that is so sheik!
“Don’t worry David, Milan will be just like LA: beautiful women, cutting edge fashion, and a word on your shirt you know nothing about.”
deal Mr. Busta Rhymes I’ll be in your new video
Beckham: “Seems like you guys already have enough Arab money….”
“You know, I baptized my son Brooklyn into your religion.”
No need to thank me, I am here for the kids
Well I usually stick to modeling underwear, but what the hell… I’m a trendsetter… I’ll have American boys wearing those threads in no time.
Whats that funny thing on your head… Victoria tells me its not very posh…
What do you mean, “Jabroni”?
Let me see… I´m at Milan to play UEFA Cup on Wednesdays and Thursdays, when I have to fly to L.A. for a MLS game on Saturdays just before taking another plane back to Milan for the Sunday’s Serie A match.. so I can play for your team on Mondays, if you don’t mind. But I think I’m free on Tuesdays too, do you need me to film some adv?
I told Kaka to say no, but I’ll be more than glad to go…
I guess picnic table is hot this season
“Yes…yes…you are dazzled by my smile…you are under my spell. Now you will do as I say. When I shake your right hand, your left hand goes for your wallet…”
Quite correct, I am the English man with good teeth.
Team colors are red and black, mate, check the gift stand on yer way to the seats.
Sure we can swap jerseys but you’ll need to take the Croatian home kit off your head.
Confusion galore for Beckham when he has to perform a handshake with a Sheikh.
‘Sure I’ll swap shirts with you at the end of the game.’
Becks: No, sorry mate, my soul is no longer available, as I sold it a couple of years ago – you know, that whole LA thing…
“Hope no one notices me squeezing out a quick fart while I shake his hand.”
Thank you Sir, but my wife is not for sale… No, not for rent either.
David Beckham finalizes a two-state Middle-East peace deal that has him at Haifa FC from January – June and Gaza FC from July – December.
Hi, I’m David Beckham. You might have heard of me back when I was at Real Madrid. I’ve been vacationing in sunny California, but just watch, I still have what it takes.
Don’t squeeze too hard Mr. Shiekh, I have a photo shoot with the Pope later.
Yes, I’d love to go to a picnic with you!
…and with a handshake with the producer, Beckham finalizes a $50 million contract for use of his name in the upcoming film, “In Baghdad Like Beckham.”
“Whatever keeps me out of LA…”
Of course I can play for you. There are still 3 weeks during the year when I don’t have any games. Let me just run it by the Galaxy, I’m sure they’ll loan me out again.
You should’ve bought Real Madrid…
“Have you heard the good news about Herbalife?”
Yes I asked to meet you I wanted to see the guy who pay over $100 million for 1 player, hell for that price you can have my whole league.
Beckham meets the newest member of the Spice Girls…Machnaz Spice.
It’s Tuesday, I must be in France.
musicfiorentina, a joke to be made outside of the contest, but thanks to the asking price, that wouldnt buy three teams.
Gee, I never thought to model a tablecloth.
I’m really left handed!
“No I don’t wanna sign you, I just wanted your opinion, as a fashion-guru, on wearing a picnic blanket as a Turban. Does it bring out the color in my eyes?”
No, no, no, no, I am “chic” and you are a “Shiekh.” Trust me, it isn’t the same thing.
Only thing Beckham ever really says is some squeaky British gibberish. It might be the sheik saying “What the f..?”
“So you’re the nice man who has been taking care of my Villa in the Palms…”
“Psst…I bet your team has money…why don’t you buy me from LA, so I can set a record of being with 3 different teams in a couple month period..”
thanks for releasing my buddy Grooverider…
Beckham used the opportunity to quash accusations of stupidity and ignorance by commenting on Euro-Arabian relations: “I don’t see what all this fuss is about these Saudi Iranians–this one seems a nice bloke-yeah?”
Arab Man: You know, in my country, we use our football stadium to stone to death people who dress provocatively in public.
Beckham: (thinks of Armani underwear ad and smiles awkwardly)
In disguise, Bruce Arena tells David that he is a top 15 right- sided midfielder in MLS.
Sure I’ll model your underwear line, but how will they see it?
Becks: “So this is where Petr Cech got the idea!”
ahhh…nothing like good old fashioned racism
“Yeah, my relationship with America’s been disappointing too, but at least they have lots of money to waste on oil and marketing gimmicks.”
“Oi! That geezer ‘as a towelie on ‘is ‘ed. In the States they told me all Arabs supported the towelie-ban!”
“Sheik your money maker like someone’s ’bout to pay ya.”
“Excuse me, um, Mr. Beckham, but can you thank your friends in LA for buying so many SUVs?”
So David your telling me that Jay-Z Has 99 Problems, but a bitch aint 1?
Yeah he told me that
“If you’re havin’ girl problems i feel bad for you son
I got 99 problems but a bitch ain’t one”
Wow he must not have 5 wives then or be married to an anorexic Silicone based life form- No Offense David.
“Oh really? I thought U.A.E. stood for Unbelievably Absurd Expense accounts. My mistake.”
“Thanks for stopping by to check up on me Mr. Anschutz. That new tan and mustache are coming in nicely”
Hi, my name’s Becks, Kaka tells me you’re looking for a man who values money over trophies?
Man in Saudi headgear:
“It’s a deal! Now as per our contract, kindly ask your wife to stop dressing like a crazed woman/robot-alien. As for you, no more man-junk ads.”
Beckham:
“Come again?”
Hey David, you want to come to Inter?
I think Ives’ Lalas caption at the beginning is the best of the bunch.
Soon Beckham realized that the mystery man trying to lure him back to the Galaxy was indeed Cobi Jones on stilts.
So let me see if I’ve got this right – 90 minutes – who can make more money? It’s a bet, chap!