Good afternoon all. It is time for a special MLS playoff edition of You Write the Caption. I know I haven’t gotten around to picking the Top 10 captions from the Freddie Ljungberg edition of YWTC but I promise to have that up this week.
The new You Write the Caption comes courtesy of Red Bulls striker John Wolyniec, who scored his first goal of 2008 in dramatic fashion, to help seal his team’s 3-0 upset win against Houston. After waiting all year to score a goal, Wolyniec pulled out the Thriller Dance as his goal celebration. The dance selection was surprising, but the terrible form in executing the dance made the moment a classic.
Wolyniec laughed when asked about the dance and admit
"I wouldn’t say I’ve been practicing," Wolyniec admitted. "If you watch the tape you probably notice I haven’t been practicing, but it was a good feeling.
"It always seems like teams that make runs in playoffs always have a little gimmick inside the locker room. Maybe that’s ours and I just hope it’s something we can piggyback off of and use going forward."
Now, onto the YWTC, and Wolyniec’s awful rendition of a classic dance move:
"Michael Jackson’s nose rolls over in its grave after watching some soccer player butcher one of the best dance moves ever."
Now it’s your turn. I know the SBI Mafia can get creative so let’s hear some good caption suggestions. As always, I will pick the ten best and post them for readers to vote on.
Fire away.
“The Thrilla’ is Vanilla.”
Is that Pat Sajak? I must say…
I hereby banish playoff futility forever!
Huston’s Japanese residents run in fear at the sight of WO-ZILLA
Due to his lack of quality attacking play, John Wolyniec tries to scare the Houston defense through other means.
Man that’s scary…wait, that’s the back of the net.
What are you looking at dicknose
Whaaaassssuuupppp?!?
After a months of laser hair removal and behavioral therapy, the sasquatch proves to be an asset to the Red Bulls attack.
“show me sexy”
I am JoWo…hear me ROAR!!!
With silver hair and gnarled hands, Michael Jackson’s life long dream of becoming an under appreciated white man playing soccer was finally complete.
john… is the only player old enough in the MLS to still remember that dance!!!!!!!
VERY NICE! HIGH FIVE!
Evidence that, despite countless jokes, Michael Jackson isn’t actually white.
John imitates what has become of Michael Jackson’s career, a bad thriller impression
Sometimes you gotta go old-school. Sometimes, you gotta go URKEL.
woly’s reaction after seeing d-ro’s cornro’s
Just For Men: John’s Freaky Moves in Just Five Minutes
…On second thought, I’ll just stick to the Diet Pepsi…
In a development that has experts baffled John Wolyniec has developed a severe case of Carpal Tunnel Syndrome playing soccer.
Woly, sensing that his career has reached it’s pinnacle, does an impromptu audition for “dancing with the stars” the one and only time he has had the spotlight.
In a brief lapse in judgment, John Wolyniec confuses his team for Sobe Life Water New York.
Mel Brook’s unveils his latest adaptation of Young Frankenstein starring Ted Cassidy in an off-Broadway collaboration with Michael Jackson.
Red Bulls’ striker John Wolyniec reacts to a shocking and rarely seen product of his play on the field — scoring a goal.
I still think he really thought he was doing the Teen Wolf.
Abel Xavier jumps out and says “boo” while John Wolyniec is trick-or-treating disguised as a professional soccer player.
Another proud graduate of Alfonso Ribeiro’s School of Dance.
You’re an animal, grr baby, grr…..
I would have gotten away with it, too, if it wasn’t for you meddling kids.
After his previous international transfers proved to be disappointing, Juan Carlos Osorio tried a different approach…..the living dead!
“You put your right foot in and you shake it all about, you do the hokey-pokey and you turn yourself around, thats what its all about.”
Lean back, lean back
He did the mash
He did the monster mash
The monster mash
It was a graveyard smash
He did the mash
It caught on in a flash
He did the mash
He did the monster mash
Indigenous to the swamps of New Jersey, the Silver Fox can grow to over 5 ft tall and is known to feast on Houston Dynamo defenders.
Woly celebrates his goal by boldly challenging Peter “The Robot” Crouch to a dance off
Wardrobe Malfunction!
This is the Sexy futbol that LA was missing!
CATFIGHT… RARRRR
YOOOOOUUUU!!!
It’s a cruel irony that in a week where racial barriers were broken, John Wolyniec showed that white men still can’t dance.
GOWHITEBOYGOWHITEBOYGOWHITEBOYGOWHITEBOYGO!!!!!
“No, don’t put Cichero in Coach, don’t do…ooooh, there’s a red card”
Red Bull fans agree: they’ll take the Thrill of the win over the agony of de Feet (and those dance moves) anytime.
Jeremy . . . great caption!
I haven’t read all of these yet but I have to say that the “Lean back, lean back” caption made me laugh out loud. Well played.
John Wolyniec performs an Ancient Voodo Ritual Dance to insure more playing time over Macoumba Kandji.
Wolyniec celebrates his goal by going Cougar hunting. Unfortunatly he’s too grey for any of Houston’s ladies to take the bait.
Whaaaassssuuupppp?!?
Posted by: RBNY Mile High Outpost | November 10, 2008 at 01:51 PM
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You beat me to it!
Who let grandpa on the team?
or
Wolyniec’s best impression of Marlon Brando in Godfather.
John Wolyniec is the only dancer in Michael Jackson’s Thriller video that needed no makeup.
After getting repeatedly torched by the Red Bull attack Sunday, Dynamo defenders resorted to giving atomic wedgies.
thank god he only scores once every 500 years
The winner has to be Jeremy with the Scooby Doo impression…
We Galaxy fans always knew Woly was amongst the living dead, and we are so proud of him for finally coming out of the grave about it.
I need to see something else John, and i’m not gonna lie to ya, its gonna get weird. Two dragons
John Wolyniec’s reaction when told he wears his shorts too high.
Previously thought to be a myth, we now have visual evidence that an albino rhino can stand on its two hind legs.
After finally landing his dream role of a professional soccer player in the the new movie, “Goal! Five – I’m sure these legs have another season left in them”,
John Wolyniec performs some acting drills with the coaching of co-stars Ben Afleck and Matt Damon…….
“Lion Face! RAAAAA! Lemon Face! EWWWW! Lion Face! RAAAA!”
Grandpa.. bought a rubber.
(helps if you sing it)
Wolyniec attempts to strike fear in heart of Mac Kandji at the rookie’s first RBNY practice.
The new YouTube phenomenon, “The Evolution of Dance, Soccer Style” by John Wolyniec.
Ed with the gnarled hands . . . that’s great!
When confronted in its natural habitat by larger, faster competitors, such as Mac Kandji, the Albino Rhino will display its fearsome weaponry to protect its turf, as seen in this rare photo.
Sorry I know its the same theme as the last one. I just can’t get over that celebration. I couldn’t figure it out at the time, and now it’s starting to make sense.
John Wolyniec auditions for the next installment of “so you think you can dance?”…
Wolyneic: “Raar! I’m kinkier than Shep”.
Wolyniec get’s to 2nd base with a ghost!
Wolyniec practices his moves in an attempt to make an impression for Nani’s remake of Thriller.
Elaine from Seinfeld has finally found a dance partner.
Sources say that Wolyniec (above) tested positive for at least 5 banned substances after Sunday’s match.
No wait were bulls now, oh well this is all i got.
John Wolyneic’s face after seeing himself in the mirror.
scratch that.
John Wolyneic’s reaction after seeing himself in the mirror.
UPI – Brian Ching (above) does his MC Hammer dance to celebrate Chicago’s 3-0 victory over Houston.
Fire BAAAD!!!
John Wolyniec after acidentally having his water switched with red bull.
Hey everybody, I’m white!!!!
Wolyniec stands in fear as a Dynamo Fan Streaks across the field to attack him for their lost season.
This was popular when I scored my last goal
John Wolyniec runs out of air quotes as he taunts the Houston Dynamo, “West Coast Champions” “unbeaten in the playoffs” with a “formidable” offense and “impenetrable” defense.
What a horrible time for an acid flashback..
“It scares the hell out of me when I do it infront of the mirror”
‘Cause this is thriller, thriller night. And no one’s gonna save you from the beast about to strike
“I deserve way more credit and respect than I ever receive.” – John Wolyniec
John Wolyniec is blown over by the sigh of relief from JCO after the Red Bulls secured a series victory.
Theres a drunk dad on the field…hes trying to intimidate the linesman…
“Don’t tase me, bro!!”
and the next couple up is dane richards and john wolyniec, doing… THRILLER
Surprisingly, more than 10% of MLS players have taken at least one mime class.
i went as the cowardly lion for halloween wanna see it
John tries to re-enact the closing dance scene of Michael J. Fox’s movie Teen Wolf with surprising success.
Goals…so easy a caveman can do it.
“Hell yeah, I love me some cougars! Rarr!”
‘Cause this Is Thriller, Thriller Night
and No-ones Gonna Save You from the Beast about Strike… once in every 897 minutes…
Holy crap…I finally scored this year and now I have no idea what’s going on right now.
Cobras! Hisssssssss! Cobras! Hisssssssssss!
“…and that’s the story of how my hair turned gray when I was 11 years old.”
I just gotta say, these are some of the funniest captions I have seen! We have some real sharp wits on these boards!
John Wolyniec… scoring a goal… and dancing… YES WE CAN! That’s some change I can believe in!
you guys are having a field day with this one!… lol, thats a comment on the histerical comments not a caption, too many to choose! *that thrilla is vinilla* is classic, though.
Hope Solo, take THAT! Meeooww!
He looks like a rabid Ted Danson.
Entertainment update:red bulls forward john wolyniec has been casted as the lion in the new madagascar movie…ben stiller is out!!!
Years later, Red Bull veteran John Wolyniec still shows the effects of Metro Playoff Fever.
I have 10 Zombies behind me!
I hope Dancing with the Stars calls me! I could use some extra money with the salary I make!
I just won the award for worst celebration ever, lets celebrate!
Wolyniec jumps up in a suprised fright as his colostomy bag springs a leak.
or
Woly accepts the bet, and tries to prove he CAN pull his shorts up to his nipples, with horrifying results.
OH MY GOD!!!!!!! I SEE A SPIDER.
Ricardo Clark: “Whoa, did you guys see that?”
Brian Ching: [mumbles] “I got that move…”
In an attempt to save face, Wolyniec claimed his Rum Tum Tugger impression was actually just a goofy, inside-joke rendition of the Thriller Dance
Do you see what you get, Joey? This is what you get, Joey, when you let a stranger score a goal…
I hope none of michael jackson’s attourney’s see this
Sashay..Shauntay!
Woly turns around to find out the true identity of kpugs.
^—- lmfaoo
“…and now young Skywalker, you will die….”
Satisfied with putting a soccer ball in the back of the net, Wolyniec now turns his attention to a pesky ball of yarn.
“I’ve been doing this uncontrollably since I hit my head on the corner post in 03″
I did the mash, I did the monster mash!!
Red Bulls striker Jon Wolyniec reacting to a mouse in his kitchen.