Good afternoon folks. Today is the big day. USA vs. Spain. In honor of the big friendly I decided to do a matchday you write the caption.
This won’t be an official edition of YWTC, so there won’t be a t-shirt given away by SBI sponsor Objectivo Apparel today, but I might change my mind on that if there is enough comedy in the submissions to merit it.
Here it is, a picture of Spain manager Luis Aragones delivering a message to Fernando Torres:
Fernando, I already told you no hat-trick against the USA. You have to save some goals for the tournament.
Now it’s your turn. Let’s here some funny captions and if there are enough good ones, then I will award the funniest caption a t-shirt of the writer’s choice from Objectivo Apparel.
Fire away.
Now, Now Fernando! Don’t come crying to me about you losing your Tan in England. The chicks still dig you!!!
yes, you have a very pretty face but there just isn’t room for cheerleaders in European futball yet
“I know it was you Fernando. You Broke my heart. You broke my heart”
“I love putting my old wrinkled dry hands all over your face.”
Luis: Aww. it’s ok, Arnold said the Gooch takes everyone’s lunch money.
Fernando: Whatcha talkin about Luis?
awww!! you hurt your ankle during practice, don’t worry I won’t make you play against United States, we’ll beat them anyway..
Your glands feel fine… you cleared to dive.
chubby cheeks!
Cheer up , did you see Englad score 2? That means you can score 3.
But Fernando . . . you had me at hello . . .
+++++ OR ++++++
You are too much for me Fernando . . . I wish I knew how to quit you
Aengus- lol, ZOOOOOOOOOLANDER!!!! excellent refrence…. give him a shirt Ives, GIVE IT TO HIM!!
Boy you sure do got a prettly little mouth.
“Don’t Cry Fernando, Onyewu didn’t really mean what he said about your hair.”
Whose my big boy? Whose my big boy? You are. ‘Nando’s my big boy, yes he is.
Luis: “I wish I knew how to quit you.”
WHAT DID THE FIVE FINGERS SAY TO THE FACE?
*SLAP*
“Baby face. You’ve got the cutest little baby face.”
Listen to me: Stay AWAY from Bradley…he’ll break your leg if you’re not careful.
Wow! Just 5 minutes once a day and I can have white teeth like these?
“Hey Fernando, hey, look at me..it’s okay if you made a mistake. Look at Ives, he can’t even spell hear correctly.”
JK Ives, I had nothing else. Someone took my glands idea.
“Forget Thierry Henry! You – YOU! – should’ve been in the razor commercial. This is the face that can sell a million razors.”
Your looking a bit down today Fernando did Rafa buy another forward?
“Nando, do I ever tell you how much I love that you are white?”
“I don’t know how Rafa runs things over there, but here, we hug it out bitch.”
Grandpa, your embarassing me!
What do we do when we fall down Fernando? We call for a card.
I like you..do you like me??
Ok Fernando, we get the plastic surgeon to pull your cheeks back and you’ll be el nino forever.
Yes the jaw seems intact now, but we will look at it again after you meet Gooch.
Isn’t that the scene from Mr. Holland’s Opus…..”beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful boy.”
Brett, are you serious? Try The Godfather Part II. Wow that is just terrible on your part.
such a pretty face, it’s a shame so many balls will be slapping against it
Come here and let me see how much you’ve grown! You’ve gotten so big! What have they been feeding you in Liverpool?
listen, what just happend in the locker room is just between you and me ok? promise me you can keep a secret
Aengus wins it LOL
“Fernando, the game films hint at your beauty, but up close you are exquisite. Can we meet tonight for tapas?”
jose, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?
John McCain consoles Hillary Clinton.
Now turn you head and cough
Now turn you head and cough
Arragones helps warm up Torres’ jaw before eating the USA’s lunch.
Fernando, please focus. Remember those words I taught you? Don’t use them today. Jared Borgetti was the last player to call Oguchi Onyewu “negro de mierda.”
Fernandooooo….don’t worry we’ll find Toto.
Now open up and say Ahhh!
Aragones: “You … complete me.”
Wait, you’re not Luis Garcia.
A more complete version…
Aragones: “We live in a cynical world. A cynical world. And we work in a business of tough competitors. I love you. You … complete me.”
Attempt No. 2…
Aragones: ” I know what I want, because I have it in my hands right now. You.”
Fernando…..I am your father.
Yes, Fernando, you are great. But when you have retired, I will still be coaching this team.
Sorry, but this is too easy…
Attempt No. 3:
Aragones: “I appreciate this whole seduction thing you’ve got going on here, but let me give you a tip: I’m a sure thing.”
OR
“I could find the whole meaning of life in those sad eyes.”
OK, last one…
“I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.”
Why yes Fernando, your lymph nodes do feel swollen. I fear it maybe the onset of “Spain can’t get past the quarterfinals of a major tournament-itis”
No, no. You are playing great! But your hair…I can’t coach your f***ing hair, Torres. Please just wash it or something.
Did you wash behind your ears? Let me check.
Wipe your tears Fernando, there is nothing you can do. This is our plight: no matter how great we will look against the US, we will end up losing against France… WE’RE ALWAYS OUSTED BY FRANCE !!!!
“Look at me, Look at me, Loot at me…. You are SO prettier than Beckham, don’t even listen to what anyone says.”
No, Fernando, your teeth don’t look as bad as Sven-Goran Eriksson’s. Now get back on the field and stop worrying about it.
There was something in the air that night – the stars were bright, Fernando
it’s okay, bubbela, you can’t do it all by yourself!
“Fernando, I am so happy you’re not black.”
Oh come on, someone had to say it.
Oh my God, it’s Hanson! I -err, my daughter- loved Mmmbop.
Aragones: “I can show you the world…shining, shimmering, splendid…”
Cheer up!… Now that you’re here you don’t have to worry about standing next to Crouch at the urinal.
Fernando, we’ll never win FIFA’s Fair Play award if you make fun of the USA’s lack of forward depth by sporting Brian McBride’s old haircut.
You know all those goals you’ve been scoring in the Premier League…Why haven’t you been doing that for the National Team?!
“Can you hear the drums Fernando?
I remember long ago another starry night like this…”
You’re a Pisces you say? I’m sorry, Fernando, that doesn’t fit in with my tactics. You’ll have to come out.
Buck up little campista maybe next year you’ll score more goals than ronaldo
Awe bubbleh!! Look at that little poonim!
Fernando, I’ve already told you. You are going to be my workhorse throughout the Euro’s…so keep eating the oats out of my hands. You need your strength!
No Fernando, I’m not doubling as the physio, but I stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night.
You sing this version Nando!
“There is something in the air tonight
The stars are bright, Fernando
They are shining there for you and me
For VICTORY, Fernando
Though I never thought that we could lose
Theres no regret
If I had to do the same again
I would, my friend, Fernando”
LUIS ARAGONES: *whimpering* But Fernando . . . age is only a number!
yes the smooth… I like very much, Raul too much the scruff, no can be Spain forward with shaggy dog scruff
Hey boy, you got a pretty mouth.
or rather
Oye niño, tu tienes una boca bonita
Luis: God damn it you have pale skin, you need to put some tanning lotion on right away. Your representing Spain, you have to look beautiful and tan. (just like me)
Aragones: Are you Torres or Ramos?
Assistant Coach: Just touch his face.
Assistant: “Are you sure he’s not a machine?”
Aragones: “Well, he certainly feels human, but when he’s out there I can’t tell.”
Luis Aragones checking Fernando match day fitness. After checking his teeth, he is going to squeeze his balls.(Ala show dog style)
Spit out the gum! Use that nervous energy to run at the Americans.